Hope Virgo is the Author of Stand Tall Little Girl, and a multi award winning advocate for people with eating disorders and founder and advocate of the #DumpTheScales campaign.
Hope helps young people and employers (including schools, hospitals and businesses) to deal with the rising tide of mental health issues. For four years, Hope managed to keep it hidden, keeping dark secrets from friends and family. But then, on 17th November 2007, Hope's world changed forever. She was admitted to a mental health hospital. Her skin was yellowing, her heart was failing. She was barely recognizable. Forced to leave her family and friends, the hospital became her home. Over the next year, at her lowest ebb, Hope faced the biggest challenge of her life. She had to find the strength to beat her anorexia.
In this interview Hope talks to SYEDA about her experiences in more detail.
What was the main thing behind your journey of recovery?
For me, going back to the basics and having a complete routine installed was crucial to my recovery. And the only place I could have this was in hospital. It also gave me the chance to get proper 24/7 support where I had space to really talk about what was going on for me. Over the last 11 years, this support has changed between, family and friends and we have all learnt a lot. In recovery, you go through different seasons where you need different types and amounts of support and that is okay! It is so important that you work out what you need during this and have a supportive network around you that you can trust.
When you were going through some really dark days, what do you wish someone who was in recovery had told you?
That it would all be okay. When you are in the midst of your illness and so trapped in your head, you don't think anything will ever change. I was convinced I would be this unhappy forever, but the weight stops changing, your mood settles and you start to get enjoyment back!
What do you do these days to help yourself when you’re going through a bad patch?
I have a list of things I do on hard days from always making sure I get dressed, naming something I am grateful for, to leaving the house even if just briefly. Reminding myself of how far I have come and telling someone I am not feeling great. We all go through ups and downs and that’s okay. If you are struggling whilst you read this, just remember that a bad day doesn't mean you are relapsing, those feelings will pass and if you need to just watch Netflix all day that's okay!
What would you say to someone who was struggling with feelings of wanting to get better but equally wanting that sense of control that the eating and exercising patterns bring?
Focus on your motivations! You think your eating disorder gives you everything you need, but in reality, it is stopping you living your best life! Think of all those reasons for getting well, focus on creating happy memories and keep talking!
How did you find value and purpose to help you in your recovery journey?
When you are in recovery from an eating disorder, you have to change your focus. You have to really think whether living your life dictated by food rituals made you happy. I used to think it did but it actually stops you living your life. Make a list of things that make you happy, things that motivate you, and things that help you create those memories away from the anorexia. For me it started off being focussed on going to Uni and going out with friends and now it is more focussed on my campaigning. If you are in early stages of recovery or functioning with an eating disorder take some time to work this out, volunteer, research online! You can find your love of life.
You’ve said that you didn’t really realise you had an eating disorder when you were younger and the way you ate and exercised was just part of who you were and what you did. What was it that finally triggered realisation there was a problem?
On my third night in hospital I was at a complete loss. I hated being in hospital and didn't think there was anything the matter with me. On the Friday night, a nurse came in with big pieces of paper. She got me to draw how I imagined myself on the paper and then got me to lay down on that exact same piece and she traced around me. When I stood up and looked back down, I saw the difference in the images. For me, that was the first moment that I thought maybe my body image was distorted and maybe something was the matter. But it took choices over the next year in hospital to really keep moving forward in my recovery.
Why would you say early intervention and prevention is so important?
We know that early diagnosis is a critical element in the success of treatment for eating disorders and by the time 'obvious' signs of eating disorders have manifested, it is likely that the illness will have become ingrained in the individual, and therefore much more difficult to treat. If we want to prevent people getting more unwell, save the NHS money, prevent hospital admission and save lives, we need to have direct conversations with each other. We need to normalise talking about eating disorders so that everyone knows that they come in all shapes and sizes.
What gives you value and purpose these days?
These days my value and purpose comes from my work, and being able to do something that I really care about and feel passionate about. For me this is crucial. I also have a faith which helps me keep going particularly on those hard days but also helps me focus on something else.
To find out more more about Hope or #DumpTheScales campaign visit here
Our sincere thanks to Hope for generously taking the time to share her experiences with SYEDA.
